He told me he loved me so much and asked me to be patient. We think the same, we are always together, she comes to me about her problems and everything. Not long after, she ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt. At this point I am going to keep up the backing off without any “failures” because I have no Idea what else to do. She knows herself, she knows her past, and she knows what she can handle. It is also of note that she once told me that she believes I was “sent to [her] by God to restore [her] faith in men,” which is at least a good sign I would assume. I can sensed that he cared about me also. The man I love and want to be with is as afraid of my love as I am of his. And starting a relationship before someone is ready can be disastrous. I didn’t notice a change in him right away but as the months went by i could see our phone calls lessen, fewer text messages and a change in his attitude. He sounded so broken it broke me. I plan to see her this summer but I’m afraid she might try to back out due to her fear. She’s a child psychologist with a great family, I’m a journalist from a single-parent upbringing. As she hasn’t done anything like that before.. please someone help and give advice on this situation. 3. Is Your Girlfriend Afraid To Love You? Seems to me like he kept us distant on purpose. But do not tell her to much od how strong you feel for her. I love her but its holding my life back in a way, I am going out and doing everything I can to better myself, mediation, getting fit, I am looking good etc. Vulnerability is also a very big one as well. And the really, really sad thing is, this is exactly what his ex would have wanted. I know that you’re thinking, “She’s only 15, she’s probably not in love. A few days later she suddenly went distant and then MIA. Two things you can do. But that at any minute he could choose to end it. She was very persistent and after a few hang outs we eventually had a first kiss. she was not very happy with this and we had a long fight that we eventually came to begrudging terms on. /* TFP - lyricinterpretations */ When I do he tell me we haven’t talked for too long. She’s 35, I am 41, She said she hadn’t had these feelings since she was married (she walked out on that marriage three years ago, after being married for six years), she said it came to an end of the road and she had to go. Anyway, after a week of her screaming and hanging on him and refusing to talk to him, he said he needed space. His future plans included ibtaining more degrees (he has two post doctorates now), golf and teaching. I have treated her the best as I can and she is the first girl I can honestly say I’m in love with. I left the shallow waters and are in it deep. How sould I treat him??? So here we go I guess. If you are in love with some one who is afraid to love, be kind and gentle. Anyway over this past two months I have given her space, but we have met up twice to discuss stuff and I have sent her flowers once. Make sure that she is afraid of love but not afraid of loving you. I really love them both, and I get along wonderfully with the kid. We met while she was going through a divorce and fell deeply in love. I love the damn girl. She was very nervous about meeting me and when we did finally meet it was great. He completely shut down.I explained to him that I loved him but as the weeks went on I felt like I didnt matter to him. Why? His brother is around his age and he’s never been married and will probably never get married. We were old high school mates that reconnected. We discussed our future and had plans. I’m not in love with her, I think she thinks I am, but I do like her quite a lot. He tells me in some sort of ways that he misses me. He trusted me with stories from his past, etc. And it hurts to feel like you are invading his or hers personal space. We were awesome friends, talked well, laughed, walked each other to the cars, hung out , lots in common, ETC. It felt like God was saying do something (there were a lot of things that led up to our meeting) I just couldn’t accept the fact that it went from “You’re the best girlfriend I’ve had, you make me happier than my last five-year relationship. http://theadventurouswriter.com/she/how-to-stop-thinking-about-someone/. Ethan if you’re out there or somehow I’m sending you this message I’m here for you I will always be here for you. From my point of view, why continue the relationship? You have time. He found out about 9 months before he left – but at the time his oldest daughter was dying and he didn’t want her last months to be about the family collapsing. My flight was non refundable but he said he would pay me for it. We met on a dating app and we didn;t exactly click at first. I told her I had been in a bad experience and I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone yet. Things went really good that weekend, he stated that they let me in thier world and that was a big thing. I loved, get hurt.. Don’t get me wrong — I love him with ALL my heart and I consider him my soulmate but I realized that what the author of the article says is true — the feeling you want to attain will never be achieved by chasing. As he does every night we’re not together he sent me a text just now saying good night. I could go into a whole spiel about how and why, and he said and I said. I actually asked if we were going too fast and he said “maybe, but it feels right.” A couple weeks later I noticed a very subtle shift but I didn’t want to say anything because I thought I was just being anxious. You might text her a hello every month or so, but don’t chase her. I’m finally out of all that mess, but I have never had a healthy long term relationship. Please give me your opinion I’m tired of the roller coaster but yet I don’t wanna give up. From what he has said they were together for 14 years. I protect myself. Or do I wait? Sometimes my feelings changed every hour but then there were more positive feelings than negative, and I somehow found myself happy again. We had small conversation and didn’t think much of it and went about my night as normal. But we are still supportive of each other. About 3 months ago now, I confessed to her that I think I’m starting to like her more then a friend. I’ve expressed my love but he becomes distant and withdraw. if you loved you why would he leave. It was mutual even though that scared her. this happened 2years ago. I say it may get harder and harder but then it’ll get easier and then you will have given that person a gift in the ability to love again. I am in a same situation. Stop Running From Love offers a simple, step-by-step approach you can use to move beyond your fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years, this has has been married previously and was absurd treated badly, he is afraid he will get burned again, we talk daily. Our relationship for the last 5 months was nothing short of amazing. Honestly this feeling I had for him was shocking because I’d never loved someone before and he had gone through enough bad relationships to think that I was using it to get something from him and ultimately he was scared and ran away from the feelings he told me he had. Don’t get in the way!, two heads were not better then 1 in this case, but thats ok, humans arent perfect either(1 was posted by laurie feb 26th above). Perhaps you are simply afraid to fall in love because of the possible outcome. All I wanted was her and it seemed she did too. How can you change your story so that you feel stronger and more courageous? I loved him so much and I cared about him. I just wish for you and for myself to break through their shell and make them the happiest people alive. is this a good idea? I told him that I can’t not think about something that I feel all of the time… He also told me that he wished that he could feel like that and that he doesn’t feel any emotions except happiness and apathy. We have talked and he has told me that he really really likes me but he’s just afraid so I’m trying to figure out what is it that I could do to help other than be patient. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. (Of course I will live without her assuming things don’t workout but I’m praying for her) This girl has me wrapped around her finger and I love it. That fear was blocking her from making any further move. I don’t know how long I should wait will he come around. If I know he’s going to be somewhere, I might try to be there so he see’s me…I feel like I’m almost stalking and that’s not like me.) She is amazing and I want her in my life. Although it’s only been a few weeks, we seemed to have a real connection and the ice was broken fairly quickly and the relationship seemed to ‘flow’. The more the pursuer chases, the farther and faster the pursued runs. I was dating a guy for 5 months, I fell in love with him and invested time, effort and energy just to be together. Your my first thought when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. I never felt anything like this before not even for my wife. If she wanted to see me again I would love that but I’d be careful not to fall to deep because the pain was unreal. I have not much real life experience about love. If we have both questioned our feelings for eachtoher then their must be something more in it then friendship? Let him go. He comes back for me every time and says he just has to go slow and let things flow organically because when he loves, he’s all in. I want to see him, but I can’t. Copyright © 2020 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Though I just wanted to take it slow anyway, it didn’t matter. And now it’s been four days since she broke up with me. I found the process of breaking down my walls and learning how to love without being scared very, very difficult. Depression changes someone’s character so they’re unrecognisable. Your subconscious is picking up all sorts of hints and messages from the person you love, and it is sending you important messages. If anything does happen I will keep you informed bless. You will not only betray him, and prove that his fears were true, but you betray yourself as well. I can wait but honestly I don’t want anyone else but you. I will never turn my back on him. I told her about her brother & what he did but she didn’t want to get involved. But I do truly care about him too! There was a time, I thought he was gay. Àmazingly, with all my issues & all the hurt I’ve been thru with family & relationships I am still open to love & trying. I told her I would never take off her friendship bracelet. No need to be rude to him, he obviously had his issues, but you have your own needs, maybe he is right in recognising he can’t give you what you want. I’m Kelly and I’m a 57 year old male. This guy that I’ve known my entire life moved back to my hometown this past summer. I’m falling in love with a man I met a few monyhs ago. Then one day he barely talked to me all day (when we literally talked all day every day) and that night we technically broke up. But if you tell yourself a different story, you will feel and act differently. She invited me to Chicago were she lives. Looking for opinions on what to do..Do i reach out or just leave him alone? I’m at a loss here. Feel so alone and just want to hold her. She was interested in me as well, our friends were ecstatic, and all was well for about a month and a half, before she started having a sort of mental/emotional war with herself. I left a VM saying that I finally get & I can’t make him want or love me. I love you. A little over a month later he broke up with me again claiming he doesn’t love me and could never develop those feelings for me. That’s exactly where I am standing. I want to help him but I don’t know how at all.. He’s still talking to me now. And the truth is I think about you all the time, you make me happy, you make me laugh, you’re smart, you’re different, you’re crazy and weird but I love you for it. I’m here for everything. Meaning make sure that this is not an excuse to let you down easy or to never commit. Anyway, I realise I have to let her go at some point. I trust your plans. He answered & when I said who it was, he tried to act like i had the wrong #. But she’ll keep telling me to leave. another thing is that she feels like she doesn’t love me as much as i love her. He was rude at times, kinda like he was angry at me. Now, I try to respect this but it really hurts and when I’ve told her about how I feel she says that it’s her way of dealing with things and it’s the way she knows she won’t intentionally hurt me. I have fallen madly in love with her. I’m scared too. Really enjoyed each other’s company. I, too, was very scared of love…but I didn’t want to be alone. So i understood. The tricky part is how hard counseling is. But even though she’s the girl for you.. Just try talking to a couple of other girls as friends ect because when you feel like you are now only a female can make you feel a bit better and stronger.. Be patient bro.. And good luck.. To continue to control his life after she’s no longer part of it. We started going out on dates and after a few became inimate. And then the break up happened. I love you with every fiber of my being and I can’t wait to show you how happy you deserve to be. I’m deeply Inlove with this guy and I’ve told him how I feel. I have considered that he doesn’t love me at all, he just lusts me, and in the end I’m ok with that. If you’re invested in your relationship, you might try these ideas…, #mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } I’m so confused.. I love her and she cares for me – but doesn’t want to do anything about it. I am having such a hard time wrapping my head around all of this, because no matter which way I look at the situation it just doesn’t make sense. I still cry when i remember how strong the bond was. He again told me he was afraid of everything that I had just said to him. I don’t like you. Any advice as to how to proceed would be very greatly appreciated. Sometimes we don’t connect with our counselors, or we’re too scared to tackle our problems. I love this girl. How would it change your relationship if you told your girlfriend that you love her? In other relationships, the healthiest thing you can do is end the relationship. After 3 months we planned our first meeting. 3: question those moments, and the nature of our relationship (could I`ve been so wrong?). Similar story here in the UK. I know it sounds crazy and hard to understand.. I’m almost to that point. I know exactly what you mean. We spoke and it turned out we had mutual heavy feelings, we had some nice moments over about two weeks, we held hands and lightly kissed a few times. I think it’s the key to happiness. I let you reshape. And it doesn’t help that she sits nearby at work and I hear her voice all day. I could tell she was relieved and the fact she was worried about me told me she cares. I just don't know what to do I'm too afraid to love you. I am broken. He's just tired of the loneliness, he cant function right.. We are doing what a couple would right? Its a clear reflection on how little I valued myself to keep going thru that. how does that even make sense? I told her I like her and would like to get to know her and she balked and said ” I’m so busy in my life right now and I started talking to someone”. I made some significant changes in my life to be with her and all the whole time she fretted it wouldn’t happen. Recently I wrote a blog post called How to Trust… Read More »5 Tips for Trusting Your Intuition in a New Relationship. So sorry you had to go through all this but im on the other side ive been through this do much currently an it hurts trying an all the intimacy you want back youll never get it back like they aee right through you its painful that all you want someone to trust you with all theee secrets but abandoned issuse come into effect maybe one day this person will understand it with or without me then maybe They’ll truly know how your feeling deepdon but until then ill be youre crutch when you need someone to listen know one knows the Dark an how beautiful it is when you finally have someone to hold hands in the darkness one day b i hope before its to late a someone whose been through it all honestly one thing about me at the age of8 I watched my MoM get buried an i knew right there ill never get to hug her smh my last hug was her cold lifeless bodie asking why have you abandoned me now look at what i became another sathistic another native growing up in Foster care 10 years in an outtajail maybe someone will understand its ok instead of holding back whats ttuly inside them a beauty but im afraid i think we lost the chance to see that side of each other im to complicated looking for complex an intellectual conversations not all this this side shit ffs Fr Jay Cee The FALLEN ANGEL these brken tears will maybe heal or someone will put them back together so who ever reads this your not the only one stay strong keep your eyes wide open theres people who fead on your pain. He said he had to be true to his heart. For me – we were going out for 4 weeks – she’d ‘pulled’ away from me for 2 of those – 4 weeks on, we’ve only spoken once and that ‘spark’ or ‘chemistry’ that I thought we had seems to be waning. A few minutes later, he came back, sneaking in thru the back but I saw him as I was leaving. Sometimes we went days without contact then weeks. We took each other by surprise when we finally saw each other again. I couldn’t figure it out – I knew exactly the risks of being friends but I also knew the connection was real or else I’m the biggest douche in the world. General Commentit's such a nice song, even if it's not about v. it's like loving someone that breaks your heart, and then you are afraid to fall in love again. I don’t know much about her past relationships since she’s always been very private about that, but she’s mentioned that someone hurt her when she was younger. Thanks for taking the time to comment, Steve. Neil.. He may want his life to be organized and manageable, and his feelings for you aren’t uncontrollable and unpredictable. We’re both successful and have our lives together but we cannot for the lives of us take these walls down. Eventually we both fell hard for eachother. She now has pushed me away again after several attemots to take her out. Life looked perfect and I was happy beyond words. But I thought a lot about what he said and this little voice kept telling me that I couldn’t give up on him. Afraid to be alone, they take in any admiring company they can find, only to be left ultimately alone, truly incapable of leaving their own vanity to love someone other than them self. I’m 48 and he’s 44 years old. He opened up to me about his relationship with his mother and ex wife. Now that it’s over, I realize I love her dearly. I’m devastated. It's heaven on earth In her embrace Her gentle touch And her smiling face. Problem we had what seemed a Great week i think i ruined it bye telling her i loved her. 2: put too much belief in profound moments we have had. How horrible it is to feel like you can’t express your feelings to the person you love. See each other a lot through the week, he’s so afraid of getting hurt, he said he stayed with his former wife trying to make it work, because he didn’t want to be a failure. I have been told to completely leave her now until she contacts me. So her ex gets 20 years of her love and devotion that he didn’t deserve and the man of her dreams gets a broken heart and will never be the same…. Sorry, but Richard is a loser, but i digress for the matter at hand. Im terrified. Then out of nowhere i received text saying he missed me and wanted to talk. She was in my bio class at my college. Stole from her, almost died. She let her doubts and fear erode her conviction and decided she didn’t love me like she should. I really want to show him that he is not alone in life and that I will always be there for him…and that he deserves to be loved.. am I selfish for wanting to be with someone who is still hurt? I actually felt comfortable, and I’ve struggled with insecurity in the past. He is attentive to me. “I’m heartbroken that this happened and I really don’t understand that two people have deep feelings for each other and yet she is not willing to work things out. He absolutely loved me no doubt, but it was ALWAYS an excuse not to get too close and take the relationship a step further. I don’t think I could survive that again, and that’s basically the sum of it.